Confessions
by Rumi Amano
Summary: I scream as Audrey's body falls to the floor, blood spreading around her. I run to her and kneel down, hugging her limp body soon after. I start crying and rocking back and forth, not wanting to believe she's gone.
1. Audrey

"WELL WHY DID YOU HAVE TO COME BACK IN THE FIRST PLACE?!" I screamed.

Sou looked at me but then looked back down, not saying a single thing. It's been two hours since we've been yelling back and forth at each other and Sou hasn't said a single thing, let alone just wave or something. He either just sat there or just stood while not looking at _anyone. _Our argument was about how they had come back after 2 months and had just started yelling without saying hi. Kataro had stopped yelling for some reason, allowing me to realize my throat was too dry. I started coughing and sat down.

I looked at Sou another time and noticed he looks completely different. He was skinny, as skinny as I was; which was bad because I'm 13 and he's 15 and almost 5'9". He was also really really pale. His hair lost its pretty dark brown and had turned black. Looking carefully, his eyes were a bit red. I got up and went and slapped him.

"What did you do when you were gone?!" I asked/yelled.

He didn't look at me, or anyone. I slapped him again. Again, no response. I looked around the room and my eyes fell on Kanata. He looked different also. His red-ish hair was plain black and he was also skinnier and paler. I approached him and glared.

"Tell me _now." _He averted my eyes, his lip quivering slightly. I slapped him. "TELL ME!" I screamed.

I was about to punch him but Hiro held me back by my arms. I was kicking and trying to escape his grip but I soon got tired and gave up. He set me down on a chair and gave me water. I took the glass and threw it in the general direction of Sou. "Audrey…" I hear Aki say. I get up, calmly so that Hiro doesn't sit me back down, and slowly walk to Sou. I crouch so that I have to look up at him. He looks at his feet. "Please, tell me…" I whisper. "Or I'll do something."

After 5 minutes of silence, I get up and don't look at anyone. I stand next to a table and take out the weapon inside its drawer. I point it to my head. Everyone panics. "Tell me now or I'll pull the trigger!" I yell.

Masa tries to get to me but I point the gun at him and step back one. Sou quietly gets up and says, "When we were gone… We were going insane. We couldn't take it. So, me and Kana distracted ourselves by getting into drugs." Masa punched Kanata. I tear up.

"Was that so hard to say?!" I scream. He finally looks at me, worry and panic in his eyes.

"Audrey, please put the gun down now. I told you what happened so please." he pleaded. I shook my head. "I need you to promise me you won't ever do it again. No matter what the situation is."

"Okay so put the gun down."

I adjust the gun and place my finger on the trigger and prepare to shoot but Sou panics more. "I promise! I _PROMISE _AUDREY!" he yells. I shoot a glare at Kanata. "You too." I say.

"I promise. I do promise, I _swear._" he says.

I hold my free hand out. "Give me paper and a pen."

Renee provides me a torn up paper and a pen. I write a quick little thing on it and then clench it in my hand. I put the gun back on my head. "You promised me so no breaking promises." I say, smiling sadly as tears fall.

I pull the trigger.


	2. Sou

I scream as Audrey's body falls to the floor, blood spreading around her. I run to her and kneel down, hugging her limp body soon after. I start crying and rocking back and forth, not wanting to believe she's gone. Renee comes to me, tears in her eyes, and punches me. "HOW COULD YOU?! AND _YOU _KANATA?!"

Kanata approaches Renee. She starts to lightly pound on his chest while sobbing. He hugs her and tries to start caressing her head but she shoes him away. "It's all of _your _guys' faults. If you hadn't left, WE WOULDN'T HAVE GONE THROUGH THE PAIN OF MOVING ON AND THIS WOULDN'T HAVE HAPPENED" she yelled, starting to go hysterical.

Kana tried to calm her down but he got punched instead. Renee hugs Audrey's body and sobbed into her long brown hair. It occurred to me that she wrote something before she went so I checked her hand for the note. It was a bit stained with her blood but it was still readable.

You promised me. Don't you dare break it. It's up to you if you want to tell my parents about this directly. I would rather be direct. If they found out through a call or something they'd be mad, not sad.

Hey,

I started to choke back my tears. Masa rubbed my back to try and calm me down but the tears flowed. I crushed the note in my hands and began to sob. Renee saw this and, reluctantly, hugged me, tears going down her own face. Hiro was comforting a crying Aki and Kataro was nowhere to be found. Kanata was fighting tears.

"We should probably get the news to the girls.." I choke out. I see Hiro nod and call Yin-Yin. After telling her the basics, I was given the phone.

"_SEE WHAT I TOLD YOU?! I KNEW SOMETHING BAD WOULD HAPPEN IF YOU DID IT BUT NO. YOU JUST WENT AND DID IT._" she yelled, crying at the same time.

I whispered "I'm sorry" many times while trying to fight back tears again. "Could you get Lily?" I ask.

After a few seconds, a high pitched, "_Konnichiwa_" was heard. "Hi Lils. It's Sou."

"_Oh Sou! Why is Yin-Yin crying?_"

I bit my lip in remorse. Audrey was like a mom to Lily. "I have some news." I say.

"_Okay but can I talk to Audrey first?_"

I broke down sobbing again and Lily kept asking what was wrong. I calmed down a bit. "Audrey and them had a scream-yelling argument and asked what I did when I was gone and she found out I was doing drugs so she took a gun and-" My throat was too dry so I began to cough bad.

I could hear Lily start to cry. "_B-but she'd never do that. It's _Audrey _we're talking about._"

I started to cry also and I felt my voice waver and crack. "I'm sorry Lily… It's all my fault" I hear Lily telling everyone else the news and crying. I softly repeat "I'm sorry" into the phone many times. I then remember that Audrey hated hearing that so I stopped. I bit my lower lip. I kept crying.

I got up slowly so that no one noticed and walked to the kitchen. There, I took out a small knife and pushed up my left sleeve. I put the blade to my skin. A line of crimson began down my hand. I feel myself sleepy and tired so I don't notice that someone yelling at me and trying to keep me awake.

**3 days before the funeral**

I hesitantly walk to the front door of the one story house. I was wearing a tux and had a rare blue rose as I knew blue was Audrey's favorite color. It also reminded her of her favorite game character, Garry from Ib.

I knocked on the door. It opened. "Yes?" a woman answers. She was shorter than I was, maybe about Audrey's height, and her hair was brown but some white. Her eyes were red and puffy. "U-uh.. Are you Audrey's mother?" I ask. She teared up. "Yes."

I gave her the rose and looked down, clenching my jaw to keep from crying. "M-may I come in?" She leads me inside and to the living room. Audrey's father and brothers come out. I feel myself start to tear up a bit. "What's your name?" her mom asks.

"Sou… she's never mentioned me but you've definitely seen some things that were from me." I tell them about the things I've ever given her, including the notes.

"Why would _you _ever give _her _something like that?" Audrey's father asked, his voice a bit mad. I told them about how we met, how I asked her out, how I proposed. Her mother was a bit teary but her father was mad. "So? What's the big thing you have to tell us? I mean, if you come to talk to us about her in that tux, something's up." Audrey's older brother asks.

He seemed older than I was. 18? 19? I bit my lip to keep from crying again, but it didn't work. "Recently, I did something really bad. And she found out about it. She got really mad at me. So, she took-" my voice cracked. "She took a gun and… and put it to her head. She made me promise her I would never do it again."

"Do what again?" her mother asked softly, mad but with tears in her eyes.

"Do drugs…" I took the silence as a cue to continue. "So she wrote something down. To tell her family about this in person. So, here I am…"

I cried. Sobbed, actually.

Everyone had tears in their eyes. Her father was mad though. Audrey's mom said something to her husband in a different language. She then told me, "We have to call her older brother about this.. Do you want to tell him?" I nodded. They called him.

"_Hello?_" he answered. "Uh, hello… My name is Sou and I have some news about your sister Audrey." I say. I explained everything to him. I heard his tears but he was enraged. I never said "I'm sorry" because I promised Audrey. So, instead, I said, "It's all my fault… I should have gone away. I shouldn't have left her I should have stayed by her side until she got tired of me." I started crying again and holding my head in a fetal position.

Her mother tried to comfort me by hugging me lightly. It helped a bit but not much. She gave me water after. "So… When's the funeral?" Audrey's other older brother asked. He looked about 1 or 2 years older than me. I was still taller.

"# days from today.." I replied. I got up. "Thank you for having me here.. I'm going to leave now and give you some time." I began to walk to the front door when her mom grabbed my left wrist. I flinched with pain. She saw this.

She gently moved my sleeve up and saw the scarred cuts on my wrist. She looked sadly at them and smiled sadly. "Thank you Sou… For treating her well.. and you can come to us anytime you need to, okay?" she says. I tear up and nod. "You're welcome.. I will." I cry again and she hugs me like a mother would. Hesitantly, I hug her back. I thank them once more and leave the house.

I'm never going to go back.

* * *

I look at the roses I had bought. Red, rare blue, light pink, white, and yellow. I held them close to my chest. _Don't think about her. _I thought. _Not yet._

I set the flowers back into its vase and go back to sleep.

* * *

I don't eat dinner. I go immediately to my room and flip through a random sketchbook. I find a drawing of Audrey, smiling at me. I close the book.

_Tomorrow.._

* * *

I get dressed in my tux and put the blue felt rose that Audrey made for me in my breast pocket. I pat down my hair a bit and flip it to make it look normal. The color got a tiny bit lighter, with me trying to keep myself from doing drugs again. Kana's been struggling too.

A knock on my door means it's time. I head out and see Renee wearing a black dress. Guilty, I look away. "Hey.." she whispers. "I'm sorry Sou.." Now I know why Audrey didn't like those words. It hurts and she heard it everyday. Audrey…

I hug Renee lightly and whisper back, "It's okay… Let's go." We get into the car and Hiro drives us to the cemetery where the funeral's being held. At the funeral, her family says a few things, then Renee. Unexpectedly, Audrey's mother allowed me to say a few words.

I got up to the front and awkwardly stood there. "Um… More than half of you don't know me. I'm Sou, Audrey's…" I trailed off. "I don't know anymore. We loved each other. I even proposed to her, ring and all. I've known her for a little bit over a year and I have seen many different sides of her. Crying, smiling, mad and embarrassed. She was a very beautiful girl and was very fun to hang out with. I loved her so much, I was heartbroken she said, 'Don't go, I love you' at the airport. So when she… I broke. Without her, I don't feel like myself. Nothing feels right without her. So.. We'll miss you Audrey."

Some people clap, some cry. Hiro came up and hugged me before I could start crying and guided me back to my chair. A few of Audrey's other friends said a few things and cried. Then, we were able to go up and see her one last time. I had already made up my mind. I asked the burier, "Can buried along with her? I wanted to live the rest of my life with her.."

He looked at me, a bit shocked. Then he said, "If it's okay with her parents." So I went and asked. They said it was my choice. So, I carefully got into the casket and lay down next to Audrey, who was wearing a pure white dress. It made her look 8, in my opinion. Still, young and innocent was the concept. It succeeded. I kissed her cheek, a tear sliding mine. I say goodbye to everyone and they close the casket. The lower us down and start to throw the dirt in, one by one. I could feel the oxygen slipping as I hear "If I Die Young" covered by me and Leon playing. I started crying again.

I kissed Audrey one last time. Before I slipped, I whispered the last words written by Audrey into her hair.

"Hey, I'm sorry.

I love you."


End file.
